I love me more (part 1)

I have committed to always looking fabulous… that is for the next few days or week maybe… until my feet and body can still take in all the fab finds i have stashed over the years of what i now call – ‘endless shopping’.
Yesterday I was wearing my newest collection to my not so many collection of shoes and sandals… did you know that I only owned one pair of boots my whole life and that was when I was still in primary school! hahaha… I bought my new sandals with tin and ryan at Gbelt 3 at T! Anyway, with the shoes and the absolutely sexy but not so flashy top, i looked great! so they say, and i will not get in the way of contradicting them since i love me more… funny what one movie can do to a person!
Today I am wearing my brown extravagant gypsie top from MNG and a pair of long, great fit, square pants! And I love how I look.  To finish it off, I have a red blazer that goes hand in hand with my flowery red esprit bag… not that i like all the signature brands but hey, if i can afford it, why not? don’t you think so?
Moving on, being fabulous and looking nice is something maybe i can get used to. As long as I don’t gain more weight since Ive lost a lot (from what all my friends told me). I know I can do this! I can see myself loving me more everyday by seeing that I am moving on and living the way Ive wanted. At least for now, that is! I want to show myself what I can do and what I can offer to know (better) what my limitations are… for my future holds endless possibilities and it will be better if I truly know myself and me love me more and more and more!!!

A toast (with my coffee in hand) to the start of me being fabulous!

And more to loving me more!!!  Cheers!

my books

they ask why i love reading books
books that don’t hold anyone’s attention
or get the interest of anybody else

for me, it’s an entirely different story
books for me are doors to another world,
another dimension, another life…
It gives me hope, gets me more connected with my emotions and broaden my perspective. Why? Don’t really know…

I love living in the world of fantasy since I cannot bring my own to life.
My fantasy of a prince charming loving me and caring for me regardless of my very humanly and womanly attitude… Selfish? Not really… I am a girl after all… and I deserve to be handled with care!

then again, my life is more complicated than that. I think we all consider our lives complicated not unless your born with a gold crown on your head, silver spoon in your mouth, 24/7 non-stop brain function and the warmth that exudes brilliance and ingenuity to everyone. More likely, it’s both the heart and mind that really matter since regardless if you have money, life can still be complicated for you and everyone around you.

But then, going back to my topic. My books are special since they both keep my fantasy and real world in place. Sometimes it hurts but mostly, it knocks up sense to me. it makes me aware of my strengths, of my capabilities and mostly my fears.

i love my books… they are after all, mine… nothing more to add to that…

Traffic

I don’t understand why it’s always traffic especially on a Friday. It seems like people love to go out and have fun this day. I know somehow I understand though if you work in a Call center, meaning you work at night, this is such a pain in the a***.

I don’t drive though my dad brings me to work and I so hate the fact that we have to start bickering on each other everytime we get stuck in traffic! It gives me a headache and a sour mood before working. Good thing I don’t talk to customers since I am already pissed.

I just really don’t understand everytime everybody says that we are a poor country. Oil prices are higher than ever, same with all the other basic commodities but when you come to think about this, people still have time and MONEY to go out and drink and eat out spending all their money even before they think about it. I am not saying that I am like that since I am a bit like that in my OWN way.

I don’t cause traffic like it’s the holiday since a decision is so hard to make for them. No parking. Too many people. Don’t what to eat or where to stay. I really don’t understand them.

Then I again, I realize that this is Manila and there will never be a day with light traffic (except on a Holy week). Guess, I really either deal with it or stay away from it.

I just don’t like being stuck in traffic and that my dear is one of the reasons I work at NIGHT! I really think that nobody wants it either then why the h*** do you still linger around causing traffic instead of going straight home from work. Guess that’s my piece! Ciao!

quotes

They say..

“It’s hard to wait around for something that you know will never happen, but it’s hard to stop when you know it’s everything you’ve always wanted..”

I say..

“But when you decide to stop, It’s worth it! Cause then you’ll find something that will give you more than what you thought you ever wanted..”

– Lee

the present me

I am lost
broken in a thousand or even million pieces for the world to see
but i am a very good actress
i don’t show how hurt
and blank
and in deep pain I am in
A dark shadow over my head
over the entirety of me
yet noone else feel my pain
noone hears my scream
noone understands fully
though i know
everyone wants me to be okay.
to be really, really okay.
i’d want that too!

My Month of August

The month is over and I can say that it was a very hectic and crazy month for me. It started well with the excitement of seeing old friends and having time to be with them and all. Then there is the fear I always shrug off regarding my then present lovelife (???) and the chaos yet surprisingly fun environment overcoming me inside and out with my work. It was the August 3rd and my friends from SALES decided to meet up due to… ummm… due to lack of better terms… due to a very delayed get together event that we always plan ahead that we always postpone the very last minute we’re supposed to meet up.
There was a very crazy surprise when we got to our meeting place and everybody was so alive and talking and laughing and having a really great time.

That was not the only fun part, my friend from HS arrived Aug 1st from the US and we had a short yet extremely great get togethers. We first had dinner and coffee at The Fort. The next time we saw each other was when she got back from Cebu after spending time with more relatives. We went to Eastwood and they all listened to the ending of my horrible lovelife (???) story.

Then we tried to plan another meeting but then I guess she’s already too busy to meet us but that’s okay! No worries since her visit and us seeing each other again was enough bliss for me! My friends! How much I miss them.

Other than this, I was quite busy to keep up with all the changes in schedule and the crazy yet healthy sportsfest we have in the office. I missed playing volleyball but then I decided to stay out of the court. I still tried to go with bowling though my petite physique is killing me. Not bad all I suppose, good exercise!

The best part of the month was the last 3 days. I was on leave last Aug 29 and was out of the office until Sept 1! At this time, I developed this obsession about the twilight saga and I can’t wait for the fifth book to be finished and released. I just hope that I can wait that long. So far, so good. My August was not entirely happy since I’m not in the perfect world, but if I can sum it all up… It’s not so bad at all!